Somatic practice · Self-care
A grounding exercise: finding the parts of you that feel steady
By Laura Grossman, LMFT
When an argument escalates, both nervous systems are usually running the show long before either of you gets to the point. Learning to come back to your own body is what makes it possible to actually hear each other. This is one of the first practices I share with couples, because it asks for nothing except a little curiosity.
Try this
Start by sitting comfortably in your seat. If it helps, close your eyes and take a few slow breaths. If deep breathing isn't available to you right now, that's okay. Just allow yourself to feel the contact between the seat and the back of your body.
Next, place your feet on the floor or whatever surface is available. If there's no surface, notice how your feet meet your shoes or the open air. Take some time to feel your feet as if you'd never noticed them before.
See if you can identify any sensations: the texture of your socks, a tingling, a warmth. Offer your feet a little space to release any tension, even just a tiny bit. If that isn't possible, simply imagine your feet as relaxed as they could possibly be. Rest here.
When you feel complete, gently wiggle your toes or blink your eyes to return to a more alert state. If you're doing this together, take a moment before you start talking again.
A gentle note: dropping into the body can sometimes bring up unexpected emotions. If you find you need extra support, be kind to yourself, lean on practices that feel good, or reach out to someone you trust. Both self care and community care go a long way.
